In the states, people use a lot this expression so I will dedicate this post to explain what does it mean.
"Having a crush" and Limerence can and can not be exactly the same, but could be pretty similar sometimes. Distinguishing between Love and Infatuation could be difficult... Knowing about this things may be useful at some point.
Limerence, as posited by psychologist Dorothy Tennov, is an attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic love. The meaning of the word, which was coined by Tennov in 1977, is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state in which a person feels an intense romantic desire for another person, the limerent object.
Explanation
Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses "having a crush" on (or infatuation with) someone else although limerence, unlike a crush, can last months, years or even a lifetime. It is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Unlike English many other languages have traditional terms to denote limerence, like in German Verliebtheit or Russian влюблённость (vlyublyonnost); both expressions may roughly be translated to “fallen-in-love-ness”.
Infatuation doesn't always revolve around sex. It may also be defined as an extreme want to simply be around someone. Infatuation could also be a crush, the urgent want to develop a relationship with someone.
Infatuation obliges the person to concentrate on the "object of their affection," therefore, this makes the infatuated person continually think of their "crush." This is seen as all-consuming, which is therefore easily interpreted as love, bringing the afflicted person to proclaim statements such as: "I love..." when they are (generally) romantically infatuated. This inability to identify between infatuation and love brings about the commonly-used phrase: "Love is blind" as the person involved finds it difficult to concentrate on other matters or see fault with the person(s) they admire.
Origins
The concept of limerence first originated in Tennov's research in the mid-1960s. She interviewed over 500 people on the topic of love. Tennov coined the term "limerence" in 1977, publishing it in her 1979 book "Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love".
Distinction from love and other emotions
Tennov differentiates between limerence and other emotions by asserting that:
* Love involves concern for the other person's welfare and feeling, while limerence does not require it, although it can certainly be incorporated.
* Affection and fondness exist only as a disposition towards another person, irrespective of whether those feelings are reciprocated, whereas limerence demands return.
* Physical contact with the object is neither essential nor sufficient to an individual experiencing limerence, unlike one experiencing sexual attraction.
* New Relationship Energy (NRE) thrives on open communication and known mutuality of feelings and is mostly seen as a positive bonding experience, while limerence can dissipate once reciprocity is established, and is characterized by uncertainty and anxiety. New Relationship Energy also carries implications of active contrast with relationships in different stages, while limerence does not.
* Limerence can be longer-lived than transient forms of romantic feelings such as infatuation and puppy love, enduring for months, or even years in the absence of knowledge about reciprocity.
Components
Limerence has certain basic components:
* Intrusive thinking about the limerent object.
* Acute longing for reciprocation.
* Some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerence through vivid imagining of action by the limerent object that means reciprocation.
* Fear of rejection and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's presence.
* Intensification through adversity.
* Acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be interpreted favorably, and an extraordinary ability to devise or invent "reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden passion in the limerent object.
* A general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the background.
* A remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the limerent object and to avoid dwelling on the negative or render it into another positive attribute.
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For more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence
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